Accumulating Meaningful Minutes

Shifting To Gratitude

For many parents of teenagers, the joys of watching your child grow-up are often blunted by the frustrations of watching them regress. A streak of doing homework and getting excellent grades is followed by a stretch of academic forgetfulness and the lower marks that go along with it. Strangely, these things that annoy you will soon be gone, giving way to newer, high-stakes challenges.

Of course, you already know this. You’ve experienced it before when your then “grade-schooler” didn’t clean his room or forgot to put away her toys. Much the same way you may find yourself pining for those days, these “high-schooler” behaviors that are bothering you right now might one day come to represent simpler and happier times. That’s probably little consolation, but seeking to find the gifts within these currently challenging times is one way to keep things in perspective and further cement the connection to your son or daughter. So, practically speaking, how can parents make these adjustments? Here are a few ideas ...

First, recall your own high-school experience. While few of us escape these years without at least some minor scarring, most are able to remember a handful of highlights that helped make such difficulties more bearable. What were yours? Whether it was a close group of friends, specific academic achievements, or the pleasure of exploring a newfound interest, chances are something(s) made your high-school experience memorable. Now that you’ve explored those topics on a personal level, it’s time to consider how your teenager might answer this question.

Specifically, look for opportunities to connect with and praise your son/daughter over their triumphs. By acknowledging these pluses, you’ll be fulfilling two key parental responsibilities: validating your child, and further establishing the bond that will become increasingly more important as life’s next chapters unfold. Additionally, taking the time to recognize their goodness might provide them with a spark of confidence and reassurance to continue to down this rewarding path. All because YOU took a moment to reconsider everything from a perspective of being thankful.

One final idea ... Looking back at your family experience growing up, is there anything that your parents did to make you feel appreciated or seen? If so, perhaps there’s a way for you to install such a practice with your own children. The bottom line is this: before you know it, your high-schooler will be living a life independent of you; so take time now to mindfully embrace all that goes along with being his/her parent. The potential benefits can be life-long and incredibly important.